alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
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Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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