Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
