He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
