New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He has the fingertips of a God
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