There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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