plz talk dirty to me
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
