he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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