He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize