marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just had sex bonerless
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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