god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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