How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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