the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
