I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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