I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
