I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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