Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
