So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
