no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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