One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
high people should be assigned attendants
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize