Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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