I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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