So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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