i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
