Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
