In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
