If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
