What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
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It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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