i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
