I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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