Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The cops high fived after they tackled you
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
