did you get engaged???
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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