Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
This house was built for laser tag.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
