Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
