I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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