we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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