I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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