yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
