My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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