He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
