So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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