I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
