I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
