did you get engaged???
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
