I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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