she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize