He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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