Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
