I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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