Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
