try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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