Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
