the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
