I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
