Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
