like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
