I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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