Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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