I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Shame - the story of my life.
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