you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
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Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
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I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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