just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
where are my eyebrows?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
