So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize