how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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